Skip to product information
$32.00
NO SAFE SPACES
It started innocently enough.
Some kid in Philadelphia showed up to school one morning, painted green, wearing a backwards Phillies jersey, dragging a six-foot tongue behind him and insisting he now identified as the Phillie Phanatic.
The school didn’t know what to do.
By lunch he had his own pronouns, a designated mascot-safe space, and three teachers arguing over whether making him take off the costume was a violation of district policy.
By Friday, everybody got a participation trophy.
Then baseball practice started.
First pitch: strike one.
Nobody asked how he identified.
Second pitch: strike two.
No emotional-support blanket came out.
Third pitch: strike three.
Sit down.
Because between the foul lines, the ball doesn’t care about your feelings, the scoreboard doesn’t recognize participation trophies, and second base has never once asked for your preferred pronouns.
BASEBALL CLASSIC 2.0
NO SAFE SPACES.