{"product_id":"confessors-adult","title":"Confessors- Adult","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Gospel According to the Confessors\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRepent. Then Rake.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, baseball isn’t just a sport — it’s a \u003cstrong\u003esacrament\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Confessors were founded long ago by \u003cstrong\u003eFather Fielder\u003c\/strong\u003e, a grumpy church umpire who got tired of people sinning in the pews and wanted to move those sins somewhere more appropriate: \u003cstrong\u003ethe basepaths\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHis reasoning was simple:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cp\u003e“If you’re gonna steal…\u003cbr\u003emake it \u003cstrong\u003esecond base\u003c\/strong\u003e.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe team roster formed entirely from \u003cstrong\u003epenance\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eSkip Sunday mass? ➜ \u003cstrong\u003eYou’re playing left field.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eCurse during bingo night? ➜ \u003cstrong\u003eYou’re the catcher now.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eDrank the Communion wine? ➜ \u003cstrong\u003eCongrats, ace pitcher.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eTheir team chant is less “Let’s go!” and more:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Forgive us our errors…\u003cbr\u003eas we forgive those who score against us.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\u003cp\u003eCoach Fielder never visits the mound —\u003cbr\u003ehe visits the \u003cstrong\u003econfessional booth\u003c\/strong\u003e just behind it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe hitters take practice very seriously:\u003cbr\u003eBefore every at-bat they \u003cstrong\u003ecross themselves, cross the plate, then try not to cross the line when they argue with the ump\u003c\/strong\u003e (who is also Father Fielder… awkward).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTheir bat boys are called:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“The Choirboys of Pain.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTheir mascot is a giant foam rosary named \u003cstrong\u003eSlug Mary\u003c\/strong\u003e who leads the 7th Inning Sermon.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd they hold the \u003cstrong\u003eleague record\u003c\/strong\u003e for most players thrown out of a game for:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eexcessive kneeling before first base\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003etrying to baptize the opposing shortstop\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003esprinkling holy water on the rosin bag\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTheir motto:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRepent. 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